Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Giver

Is my sole purpose in life to please others? Make everyone happy without regard for my own needs. Is that selfish of me? Selfish to hope beyond hope that someone would think of me before themselves. Selfish that for once I might be offered a gesture of unconditional love. I often question if I give of myself enough; too much. Do I push away the people I love because I want to be there for them? I tell myself not to expect of others, never get my hopes up, don't ask for anything. I do this to avoid the heartbreak that comes with let downs and broken promises. But I still feel the pain. The pain of always trying to not look forward to anything. The burden of secretly wanting. The wish that I could just come out and ask for something without the fear of rejection. In my dreams I receive as much as I give, I am loved as much as I share love, I am a priority rather than an option. When I awake, I am once again The Giver.......

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