Monday, December 20, 2010

The alarm rings

No one knows the pain I feel....sees the hurt I hide. The tears that fall when I'm alone. I yearn for happy days so that my children may experience the joy of living, and I know that I alone need to provide that for them. So I smile and pretend that the me inside that is dying is not. But when the day is done and I close my door, the rain that pours from my soul is endless. It's difficult to remember the good that had been bestowed on me. The things that I should be grateful for. It's a dimly lit place that my heart sits in for those moments before I slip into slumber. Then the alarm rings. Time to wake and find the strength to make their life right....One day, I know I will wake to happiness again.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tell me, please.

Make my heart stop aching.........The daily struggle of motivating, encouraging, instructing has taken over. What do you need? What haven't I given you? If it's love, you know you are loved. It is spoken, it is revealed. What more can I do? Is it support? How much more can I give you when my life revolves around your needs and wants? Tell me, please......How do I get through to you? I see you wasting your talents and intelligence everyday and it pains me. I try to be that positive influence in your life but it's so difficult when there is no response. You want me to trust you, but you haven't shown that you can be trusted. You want me to praise you, but have not shown anything worthy of praise. I don't know what to do anymore. Please, make my heart stop aching.